Pro-Celebrity Pub Quiz

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Another successful week at the quiz, despite having to name the World’s Top Ten Golfers as of February 2013 (luckily Hulk* watches a lot of golf so we got eight, missing out on Brandt Snedeker and Louis Oosthuizen, which is can only assume is some form of points hangover from their 3rd in the 2012 Open and 2nd in the 2012 Masters respectively, because neither of them have done anything since). This was a good thing, as it meant The Governessess Dad* is writing more up to date questions – much better that a sports round a few weeks back where we were pretty much asked to name the winners of the major sporting trophies in 1996 – a difficult round in 1997 but bloody impossible in 2013! Anyway …

Quiz – Won … Beer – Guinness (because we had winnings), Two Hoots and a pint of something I can’t remember

On the beer front, my Christmas Ale has finished primary fermentation and will be racked off (technical term – really) this weekend for secondary fermentation – this means the addition of even more sugar, which means more alcohol in the final product. The Pub also had a guest beer from the Loch Ness Brewery, which I didn’t try. It was called Wilder Ness, which I think is a pretty stupid name. If that was my brewery I’d have called my beers after characters in the BBC Children’s TV show The Family Ness – probably Drunken Ness.

Over the past few weeks I’ve been formulating a new idea which, of course, I think is the best thing since my last fantastic idea (more on this shortly). This all stems from watching The Apprentice and Mr Sugar’s business mantra that you should always do something you know about. The perfect example of this was when Helen from Greggs (who had not lost a task) faced down geeky inventor Tom (who’d not won a task) in the final two. Helen’s idea was some form of concierge service and Tom had invented something you sit on, which he had called “a chair”. Out trots Lord Sir Alan’s business mantra and Tom wins, leaving Helen sulkily saying that she could always open a pie shop – too little too late Helen, as the government found out to their cost, people love pies and you can’t successfully tax a pasty!

Side note – I saw Fabio Capello in the pasty shop at Marylebone station once.

Anyway, I digress (Ronnie Corbett mode again). It was Alan’s business mantra that got me seriously writing pub quizzes as a business, and hopefully I’ll start selling more of them as a result of this blog (shameless plug alert!!  – Perfect Pub Quiz run an eight week FREE quiz trial, just contact through the website). The other thing I have experience in is ‘Man Snacks’, hence my previous great idea – Halal Scratchings. These are like normal scratchings, but made of the crispy, deep fried (with added MSG) bits of sheep instead pig. What’s even better, put them in a differently branded packet and you’ve got Kosher Scratchings! This idea could save the economy of the Middle East when the oil runs out. I will admit this is a better idea than the Sprout Randomiser (a device for ensuring that no two people get the same amount of sprouts at the Christmas dinner table – ideal to stop and/or cause arguments), or the Tea Bag Bin.

My latest (possibly greatest) idea is the Pro-Celebrity Pub Quiz. It’s a bit like the Pro-Celebrity Golf that used to be on TV in the 1970s, but without Kenny Lynch. (To answer a question that has puzzled The Royal Blokes* for ages – “what does Kenny Lynch actually do?” – this apparently). Essentially, pub quiz teams try and involve at least one random celebrity member for no other reason but to (a) post the pictures on Facebook, and (b) to give Amber Nectar* something else to moan about when we manage to land Stephen Fry. This is not as stupid as you may think as, a few years back now, one team turned up to The Quiz with Riverdance legend Michael Flateley – not that it did them any good because the round about Eurovision interval acts of the 1990s happened to be the week before (please note, the Riverdance has commentary by a relatively sober Terry Wogan, a minor miracle since he must have been on the Baileys for about two hours at this point in the proceedings).

We could have had a “celebrity” on The Royal Blokes a few years back because Dean who came third in Big Brother 2 used to live opposite me. However, he was too busy with his business (genuinely called ‘Z List’) making Tea Bag Bins (small kitchen worktop bins for putting tea bags in – I don’t know why I felt compelled to add an explanation to that though). I know he sold at least one because I brought Cpt. America* one for his wedding. Who knows what Dean did before his 15 minutes of fame that make him qualified to make miniature bins – maybe Alan’s business mantra doesn’t always work.

For those of you who have read this far, and still hold any interest, please feel free to post a comment about who would be your top pick for a Pro-Celebrity Pub Quiz partner. I can then compile a Top Ten list, give a copy to The Governess* and she can use it in a quiz – in about 2020!

and if anyone knows Stephen Fry’s number – ask him to give me a call the next time he’s at a bit of a loose end on a Tuesday.

Footnote: The theme tune to The Apprentice is ‘Dance of the Knights’ by Sergei Prokofiev, from his ballet ‘Romeo and Juliet’ – for those of you yet to click on any links, this is what the ‘The Apprentice’ link above opens up for you – the wonders of YouTube. Bobby Moore won his 108th and final England Cap in a friendly against Italy on 14 November 1973 (almost 40 years ago to the day). Italy won 1-0, their first win against England in England. The scorer of the only goal was none other than Fabio Capello. Cpt. America lives around the corner from the bloke who played the saxophone on BGT – if BB Dean counts as a celebrity then he surely does as well

*see Cast List


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