Royal Blokes uber alles

This weeks quiz clashed with the England v Germany match and when the football’s on, the ranks of the Royal Blokes are usually boosted by Maurice and Tubbs – Maurice because Mrs Moss doesn’t want him at home watching the match and having a drink, so he’s banished to the pub; Tubbs because Mrs Tubbs doesn’t want him at home while she’s watching the match and having a drink, so he’s banished to the pub as well. However, it was not the case this week – something is obviously amiss somewhere!

Quiz – Won … Beer – Guinness, Okell’s Olaf (the beer I couldn’t remember last week) and Laphroaig (which isn’t a beer at all)

This week, unlike any England player, The Royal Blokes* were on a hat-trick and, unlike England, were successful. On the bright side, we (England) always seem to beat Germany when it matters – 1918, 1940, 1945, 1966. This then begs the question – how is it that Germany has the better economy, despite losing when it matters? There’s obviously something in that whole The Mouse that Roared scenario. Maybe it would have been better if we’d have lost the war? On second thoughts, no, that’s a really stupid idea – unlike my previous ‘good’ ideas (see last weeks blog).

Another really stupid idea is the German Market in Birmingham. Now it’s true that it brings in a lot of tourists, who then stand in the freezing cold December streets, drinking overpriced lager and overdosing on gingerbread. However, these self same tourists also mean that those of us who work in, and have to cross, the city to keep the local economy going for the remaining 11 months of the year, are faced with a slow and painful journey in a crowd that at best moves at the same pace as glacial drift and, at worst, continually grinds to a halt as soon as someone needs to decide whether to spend their last £10 on an ostrich burger or a sausage.

This is not just some random, vaguely comedic anti-German rhetoric either, having worked for the Americans, the South Africans, the Japanese and the Germans, the latter are most definitely the worst employers – so, go on … mention the war … both of them … twice … during your interview … I did and still got the job. However, that said, I still prefer the Germans to the French, regardless of who bombed the chip shop!

Anyway, back to the quiz. We were behind from the outset, and slowly fell further back as Amber Nectar* took a seemingly unassailable lead, even though Parker* knew what a ferrule was, and was disgusted that we used our safety card. Heading into the last round (music this week), there was only us, Amber Nectar and a returning How Far’s The Cock Inn?* with a chance of winning. We had to gamble (we needed the full 20 points and to hope Amber Nectar didn’t go for it) and ended up with a question on the number of UK Top 40 hits in the film Saturday Night Fever. A complete guess (11) saw us take the full points (coupled with the skill of getting all the other nine questions right of course) and a three point win. While, as regular readers know, The Royal Blokes are not the greatest fans of the gamble question, it was worth it this week just to see the look of dejection on Amber Nectar’s little faces.

How Far’s The Cock Inn? were once banned from the quiz. Previous Quizmaster Dave objected to their name because it contained the word ‘cock’, and insisted on calling them How Far Away is The Cock Public House? This was until a member of HFTCI pointed out that he was still using the word ‘cock’, resulting in the ban. Strangely, Dave had no objection to ‘Knee Deep in Clunge’ as a team name though. Best team name of this week was definitely Quiztal Meth. Probably Breaking Bad fans.

On a side note, for those who’ve read the blog entry ‘Wrongipedia and the Sound of Summer’ – TMS fans hijacked a page again this week, during the first day of the first test. Apparently the Brisbane Courier Mail was for a short time, amongst other things, owned by the ECB and edited by Stuart Broad. Also, the home brew is now racked off and will be ready for drinking on Christmas Eve.

Footnote: I don’t actually know of anyone who actually knows of a chip shop that got bombed, although I do know someone who once threatened to write a ‘Medium Bombers of WW2’ round in a quiz. It never happened, but we did have a round about the sinking of the Bismarck (this is true). A ferrule is, amongst other things, the bit of metal that attaches a rubber (eraser for my North American readers) to the top of a pencil. The Cock Inn is about 2.5 miles from The Pub – and they know this!


One thought on “Royal Blokes uber alles

  1. Pingback: Topless: The Sequel | Beer and Quizzes

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