Edisode 9: Tits and Dragons

WARNING: THIS BLOG MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS, BUT ONLY IF YOU’RE NOT A FULLY FLEDGED GEEK

Way back in 1962, an obsure Czechoslovakian professor from the University of Bratislava linked the comsumption of  vast amount of alcohol in a short time (being Czech, it was clearly Pilsner) to the ability to regurgitate seemingly useless information when asked random questions, and to the works of authors such as JRR Tolkein. The resulting paper – The Pub Quiz Geek – won him international acclaim and a Nobel Prize. Unfortunately, before collecting his winnings (2 million Swedish Krona) he died in an unfortunate and bizzare incident involving his own body weight in Absolut Vodka, a flat-pack table from Ikea and a beautiful young KGB agent (who then got sent to Istanbul in a half-arsed attempt to kill a British spy by tempting him with a Lektor cryptographic machine – but that’s another story).

Skip forward 50 years and all self-respecting geeks have supplemented JRR Tolkein with George RR Martin and his Song of Ice and Fire books (no self-respecting geek will read your series of fantasy novels unless you have the letters RR in your name – just ask TeRRy Pratchett – his real name is Dave). It was always my intention to write a blog about this, and now seems the opportune time. However, before that, this:

Beer: UBU (Purity), Guinness, Marstons Pedigree, and some obsure drink called Brew No.8 (not to be confused with Brew XI) which was a cherry flavoured bitter.
Quiz: Not even placed this week, despite being able to name the 13 celebrities named in the titles to the 12 episodes of Extras (see, quizzing and geekiness again. Nobel Prizes aren’t just about tormenting poor dumb animals with campanology)

On the Perfect Pub Quiz front, I now have bulk printing capacity, which means that quizzes can now be provided in a self-print version (£2 per quiz) or in a pack where everything is provided except pens and someone to read the questions (£6.25 per quiz). There’s also similar options for the trial quizzes, and a FIFA World Cup themed quiz is now available as well. See website for full details.

Additional thanks go to all of those who have provided feedback on a new quiz format being developed. More on this in future weeks.

Back to the matter in hand – A Song of Ice and Fire, better known to the viewing public as Game of Thrones. While this does means that there will be no picture of Lucy Pinder this week, which I accept may reduce my readership, she is being replaced by Daenerys Targaryen. On a side note, last week blog was read in France, Germany and Indonesia again (amongst other places), plus Colombia. Of course, this may just be my Panamania reader going to Brazil for the World Cup, or my Brazilian readership going the other way to avoid it. However, no Finnish readers yet – do they not know there’s a visual knob joke yet to be completed ! (see last weeks blog for full details).

Anyway, the picture:

Dragons

Parker* (whose status as a true geek is yet to be confirmed) asked me a few weeks back to explain Game of Thrones, as he has no access to Sky Atlantic. This was actually more difficult to do than I expected, and I eventually settled on “it’s a bit like the War of the Roses, but with tits and dragons” (clearly I was referring to the actual War of the Roses, not the Michael Douglas / Kathleen Turner / Danny DeVito film, that would just be stupid). However, it’s more than that. When fantasy is done badly, it’s Clash of the Titans, but when it’s done well, you either get a 27 hour epic by Peter Jackson, or Game of Thrones. Now, usually my blogs are liberally sprinked with links to random websites and youtube videos. This week I’m limiting this to a single link.

For those of you who have no idea what Game of Thrones is about; for those who think they do, but don’t really; and for those who actually do, but will enjoy the comedy CLICK HERE.

Everything really is tits and dragons, the thing of nouns, there are Ice Zombies, and Jon Snow really is a moody bastard who knows nothing! Next time you’re in a quiz, geek out and call your team ‘Jon Snow Knows Something’ (which, of course, legally has to be pronounced Jon Snarr Knarrs Somethin’).

But why ‘Episode 9’ I hear you ask. Well, it’s not some obscure Star Wars reference, but the fact that even all avid watchers haven’t yet worked out the power of the 9. This weeks episode (showing Sunday in North America, Monday in Europe), is Season 4, Episode 9 – the episode when all things happen. In Season 1, Sean Bean was beheaded; in Season 2 it was the Battle of Blackwater; and in Season 3 The Red Wedding. So, despite King Justin Bieber being poisoned, the Imp being sentenced to death and The Mountain crushing (and exploding) The Viper’s skull with his bare hands already this season, the best is yet to come.

Spolier alert – despite what I thought at the outset of Season 4, it turns out that Episode 9 is actually a reinactment of the Battle of Helm’s Deep from The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. Except it’s got giants instead of orcs. Which just goes to show that all things have been done before and, if it was by Peter Jackson, better – just look at Dany’s dragons compared to Smaug – he’s voiced by Sherlock Holmes ffs!

Final spoiler alert: Emilia Clarke is actually a brunette!!

Emilia-Clarke-585x350

Footnote: In 1842 the Czechs developed a way of cold brewing beer so the yeast remains at the bottom, not floats to the top. The result was lager (as opposed to ale). This paradigm shift in brewing took place in Plzen in Bohemia, the resulting brew being called Pilsner. The ‘other story’ involving the beautiful young KGB agent,for those non-geeks out there, is ‘From Russia with Love’ – sorry to spoil that for anyone whose not yet seen the film. If you want to find out about the other Nobel Prize reference, just Google Pavlov’s dog. Hodor!

(Note to Cpt. America*. Given the name of the blog, I was going to try and shoehorn in the Criff Richard joke, but it wouldn’t work)

*see Cast List

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s